I SIGNED UP FOR MY FIRST COMPETITION!
And now ... I don't know if it's regret or fear but I'm doubting the decision that I made to sign up. This afternoon on my lunch break while I was scanning Facebook I came across the thread in which the Rookie Rivalry Competition Event was posted. I started to look through the post and "creeping" on the other women signing up and I got a sudden overwhelming sense of doom. WHY IN GODS NAME DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA? All of these other women have been doing CrossFit for awhile, were in FAR better shape than I, and were going to kick my ass. I'm literally going to have my ASS handed to me at this event. Sure, I've overcome some obstacles, dropped some weight, gained some muscle, but shoot; I'm no where in any sort of shape to be competing with these women. Can I get a mulligan? A do-over? Can I just go to an event further out where I might stand a fighting chance? I know none of that is possible but it's the only thing that sounds reasonable to me at the moment. I hate losing. Even worse .. I hate losing that badly.
So what am I going to do? I'm going to continue my training and add more days to my schedule and I'm going to try to be more positive about all of this. I mean after all, this was something that I wanted to accomplish this year, why not knock it off of the calendar earlier than planned? Yikes. I'm definitely going to need some positive reinforcement on this one guys, maybe a nudge or ten but I know that I can count on all of you to help me over this hurdle. With my CFN family behind me I know that I can turn this scary goal into something that I'll be incredibly proud of immediately once I'm finished, 1st place or not.
First up: I want to lose 50 pounds in a healthy way. I know that this is no small number but I also know that it is attainable when I have the support and tools available to me that I do. I want to lose the 50 pounds not just for vanity’s sake but also for my health. I have sleep apnea, anxiety, and depression. There is no doubt in my mind that losing this kind of weight will help me not only feel better when looking in the mirror but I will also feel better mentally and physically.
Secondly: I want to start attending regular CrossFit classes as well as boot camp. I LOVE MY BOOTCAMP crew; I mean really, I do. They are the ones who have been with me since the very beginning and have pushed me, high fived me, and struggled alongside me. It’s scary moving on from something and someone’s that you’re comfortable with and this is why I’m going to keep my boot camp schedule but add in regular classes on the fill in days. It’s really nice to be able to make this change and have the support from everyone around me while I do it. It’s also nice to know that I don’t have to “give up” seeing those I love seeing to advance myself. CrossFit schedules are the best!
Lastly: I WANT TO ENTER A COMPETITION! There, I said it. The athlete in me has been Facebook stalking those competing, it has been jealous (in a good way) over medals and trophies won, and is itching to get out there and win its own. I know that I’m nowhere near that level as of right now, but with the first two goals going into effect I know that this goal isn’t out of reach. I plan on taking my training seriously (Don’t worry; I’ll still be having fun.) and making large strides in this New Year.
So there you have it, my 3 main goals for this year. I don’t think any of these are farfetched and I know that I can count on all of you for your continued love and support as I continue on in this amazing journey. So here’s to 2016, filled with PR’s, weight loss, and competitions!
PS. Santa also brought me some pretty sweet workout capris, sports bras, and t-shirts too which can only lead me to believe that Santa wants to see MASSIVSE GAINS for Christmas next year. Challenge accepted Santa, challenge accepted.
Last Friday, 12/11/15, I experienced my first ever PR (Personal Record)! I deadlifted 225 lbs., and by doing so I got to ring the PR bell, and write my name on the whiteboard. Now all of this may seem trivial and silly to some of you, but for me; for my inner athlete it was the equivalent of winning a match or placing in a tournament. It’s been quite some time since I have done any of the listed above so to achieve that level of excitement and self-satisfaction was amazing.
I was once a high performing athlete. I was once able to make it through a 90 minute soccer match without a substitute. I used to practice 5 days a week for 2 hours a day and then workout on my own during the weekends. I was even once capable of going from one practice for one sport, into a game for a completely different one within the same day. That is not the case anymore.